“The difference is in protection. I gave you to Josiah to protect you, not… not for this.”
“Then you shouldn’t have brought us together.” I was screaming, years of frustration finally spilling out. “You shouldn’t have married me off to someone intelligent, kind, and sweet if you didn’t want me to fall in love with him.”
“I wanted you to be safe, not at the center of a scandal.”
“I’m safe. Safer than I’ve ever been. Josiah would rather die than let anyone hurt me.”
“And what will happen when I die? When the inheritance passes to your cousin? Do you think Robert will let you keep a slave husband? He’ll sell Josiah the very day I’m buried and lock you up in some institution.”
“Then release him. Release Josiah. Let’s go. We’ll go north. Will—”
“The North is not a promised land, Elellanar. A white woman with a black man, former slave or not, will face prejudice everywhere. Think your life is difficult now? Try living as an interracial couple.”
“I am not interested.”
“Well, yes. I’m your father, and I’ve spent your whole life trying to protect you, and I won’t let you get into a situation that will destroy you.”
“Being without Josiah will destroy me. Don’t you understand? For the first time in my life, I’m happy. I’m loved. I’m appreciated for who I am, not for what I can’t do. And you want to take all of that away from me because society says it’s wrong.”
My father sank into a chair, suddenly looking his full 56 years. “What do you want me to do, Ellanar? Bless him? Accept him?”
“I want you to understand that I love him, that he loves me, and that no matter what you do, that won’t change.”
Outside, silence reigned between us. The December wind rattled the windows. Somewhere in the house, Josiah waited to learn his fate.
Finally my father spoke, and what he said shocked me more than anything that had happened before. “I could sell him,” my father said softly. “Send him to the Deep South. Make sure I never see him again.”
My blood ran cold. “Father, please…”
“Let me finish.” He raised a hand. “I could sell it. That would be the right solution. Separate you. Pretend it never happened. Find you somewhere else.”
“Please don’t do that.”
“But I won’t.” A glimmer of hope flashed in my chest. “Father?”
“I won’t do it because I’ve watched you these past nine months. I’ve seen you smile more in nine months with Josiah than in the previous fourteen years. I’ve seen you become confident, capable, happy. And I’ve seen the way he looks at you, as if you were the most precious thing in the world.” He rubbed his face, suddenly looking ancient. “I don’t understand it. I don’t like it. It goes against everything I was raised to believe. But…” He paused. “But you’re right. I brought you together. I created this situation. Denying that you would form a genuine connection was naive.”
“So, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying I need time to think, to find a solution that won’t leave you both unhappy or destroyed.” He stood up. “But Elellanar, you have to understand. If this relationship continues, there’s no place for it in Virginia, in the South, maybe anywhere. Are you ready to face that reality?”
