“Will you do it?” I asked. “Will you accept my father’s plan?”
“Yes,” he replied without hesitation. “I will protect you. I will take care of you. And I will try to be worthy of you.”
“And I’ll try to make the situation bearable for both of us.”
We sealed the deal with a handshake, his enormous hand engulfing mine, warm and surprisingly gentle. My father’s radical solution suddenly seemed less impossible.
But what happened next? What I learned about Josiah in the months that followed. That’s when this story takes an unexpected turn.
The agreement formally came into force on 1 April 1856.
My father performed a small ceremony, not a legal wedding since slaves were not allowed to marry, and certainly not one that white society would recognize, but he gathered the servants, read some Bible verses, and announced that Josiah would henceforth take care of me.
“Speak with my authority regarding Eleanor’s welfare,” my father told everyone present. “Treat her with the respect her position deserves.”
A room adjacent to mine was prepared for Josiah, connected by a door but separate, so as to maintain a semblance of decorum. He moved his few personal effects from the slave quarters there: a few clothes, some secretly accumulated books, the tools from the forge.
The first few weeks were awkward. Two strangers trying to navigate an impossible situation. I was used to having housekeepers. He was used to heavy labor. Now he was responsible for intimate tasks. Helping me get dressed, carrying me when the wheelchair didn’t work, attending to needs I’d never imagined discussing with a man.
But Josiah handled everything with extraordinary sensitivity. When he had to pick me up, he asked permission first. When he helped me dress, he averted his gaze whenever possible. When I needed help with personal matters, he preserved my dignity even when the situation was intrinsically indecent.
“I know it’s an uncomfortable situation,” I told him one morning. “I know you didn’t choose it.”
“Neither do you.” He was reorganizing my bookshelf. I’d mentioned wanting it alphabetized, and he’d taken on the task. “But we’re managing.”
“Are we?”
He looked at me, his imposing figure somehow nonthreatening as he knelt beside the bookshelf. “Ellaner, I’ve been a slave all my life. I’ve worked grueling labor in heat that would kill most men. I’ve been whipped for my mistakes, sold and cast out by my family, treated like a voiced ox.” He gestured around the comfortable room. “Living here, caring for someone who treats me like a human, having access to books and conversation… This isn’t suffering.”
“But you’re still a slave.”
“Yes, but I’d rather be a slave here with you than free but lonely somewhere else.” He went back to reading his books. “Is it wrong to say that?”
